7 Rules That Will Help You Communicate With A Manipulator
All human beings are unique and we have qualities that define our personality. However, when it comes to relationships, it is important to learn to distinguish those people who cause us harm and limit us with their way of being, such as the figure of the manipulator.
Manipulative people pretend to control our lives and do everything in their power to make us feel inferior. Worst of all is being aware of it and not having the ability to push them away before the situation worsens.
In some cases, this situation can last for years and make the manipulated a victim of their own life in which they cannot feel the full freedom to make their own decisions.
Next we want to share 7 simple communication rules based on the strategies designed by the expert Preston Ni so that you learn to rat with a manipulator.
1. Keep in mind that you have non-transferable rights
One of the greatest skills of a manipulator it is identify the weaknesses of their victims to be able to play with them. It is not unusual for you to feel a sense of helplessness or guilt for not obeying that person’s requests.
It is essential to identify these characteristics and always keep in mind that the problem is not yours. Losing control of the situation will make you feel that you are not good enough and that you require the other person to make decisions.
Analyze the relationship with the possible manipulator and identify the problem by answering the following questions :
- Does this person respect me?
- How well founded are your expectations and requests?
- Is it a balanced relationship? Could it be that only one of the two is receiving the benefits?
- Is this relationship affecting my self-esteem?
4. Put it to the test
Confront the manipulator with some questions. You can discover their weaknesses and identify if they have some self-criticism or shame. Some of the questions you can ask are:
- Do you think what you ask me is fair?
- Do you think this is fair to me?
- Can I give you my opinion on this?
- Are you asking me or are you affirming?
- What do I get in return?
- Do you really think that I believe what you tell me?
5. Stop rushing
Do not let any situation pressure you to make a decision that requires time to be thought through. Stop rushing and stay in control just by saying “I’ll think about it” or a definite ‘no’.
Always keep in mind that one of a manipulator’s favorite strategies is to force his victim to respond or act immediately to his requests. Don’t let me win.
6. Learn to say ‘no’ to the manipulator
One of the most important keys to communication in any type of relationship is knowing how to say ‘no’. It is one of the most effective ways to maintain control and a good relationship with the interlocutor. Keep in mind that you have every right to establish your priorities and to say ‘no’ when you do not want things.
7. Defend yourself from teasing and offenses
A manipulative person always looks for a way to feel superior to create a feeling of fear or suffering. Offenses and teasing are one of the tools they have to attack when they feel like they are losing control.
Face the manipulator
If you have identified these characteristics in any of the people around you, do not hesitate and stand up to it. Follow your instincts and protect yourself from the action of manipulative people.
The funny thing is that, in most cases, these people show their cowardly side when the victim shows character and defends himself. Under no circumstances are there justifications for this type of behavior. So, feel confident to put a stop to it without any regrets.
