I Really Want To Look For You, But I No Longer Have Reasons To Find You

To continue advancing in a relationship, the affirmation of “I want to look for you” needs to be accompanied by reasons, by illusions that give strength to that desire. Because, although the memories are there, the feelings are needed to continue recreating love.

It is about making a team, promoting the personal growth of each one, as well as that which arises from the bond itself. That mutual effort will allow both members to win and no one to lose.

Now, sometimes the reasons that previously made us stay with someone seem to disappear. We stop feeling that connection or sharing what united us so much. We still have the desire, but not solid and real arguments …

Did you ever happened? Do you want to know more about these questions? If so, then we invite you to reflect on this topic.

I have plenty of desire to look for you, but do I have reasons?

Love traps, drags and often makes us forget ourselves to feed only on those emotions, on that passion that makes us feel so alive.

There are many reasons why we will appreciate someone in this way. The safest thing is that it is worth it, since that person shows us equally affection, support and complicity.

However, it is also not advisable to lose sight of the focus on ourselves. To preserve our own well-being, it is also important that the couple’s relationship allows us to carry out individual projects while building others in common.

In this sense, asking yourself some questions is useful to know what conditions characterize the bond we maintain. Keep reading, we will tell you what they are.

Do I feel personal space despite being in a relationship?

There are two areas that largely define healthy emotional ties: the personal sphere and the one that corresponds to the relationship. Although there are those who think that the couple implies ‘being one’ in all aspects, the reality is that each one is an individual entity with particular needs and illusions.

• One of the relevant reasons when assessing the relationship is just the possibility that each member allows the other to be oneself. Do we offer the partner the opportunity to enjoy moments to attend to their own friendships, hobbies and concerns?
• In turn, couples establish a shared bond knowing how to invest, prioritize and join forces. The couple means ‘being two’ building a life together, respecting interests, tastes and personal spaces.

I really want to look for you, but is communication empathetic and constructive?

Communicating is more than just talking or laughing together. It is above all agreeing to agreements. While enjoying humor and each other’s company is essential, empathic and constructive interaction is also necessary.

• The dialogue that takes into account the two voices is the one that considers the emotions of both parties.
• Non-verbal communication gestures often convey more information than the explicitly expressed message.

• For example, who, despite not insulting or attacking with words, uses a derogatory tone, causes harm to those who listen to them.

How is the situation we experience? Do we watch over all these aspects? Do we try to improve the way we ‘connect’ with our partner?

Do we take care of the relationship every day?

In a healthy relationship there is no room for selfishness and “Because I said so.” Today I love you does not fit either, but tomorrow I forget about you and prioritize other matters or other people.

• There may be commitments and concerns outside the relationship, but this does not mean that it should be relegated to the background.
• If the partner respects you, takes care of you and allows you to grow, you have plenty of arguments to make an effort to ‘make happy who makes you happy’.

When the reasons are lacking

If the motives for maintaining that love have vanished, perhaps nurturing false hopes will turn out to be an empty illusion. To think that everything will change or that your partner will fix it at some point is to leave the decisions that correspond to you in the hands of destiny.

• Sometimes, more than good memories, what we perceive are unrealized dreams. That which we wanted and that did not come to pass. They are absent projects that hurt and that, no matter how much we wait for them, will not happen. Not at least in that relationship and with that person.
• If we act courageously, we will convince ourselves that moving forward alone is possible. Life does not stop.

Undoubtedly, the desire that this bond had prospered will remain, but not the authentic foundations to continue in that bet. If we accept it, we can get through the duel and open ourselves to new opportunities.